Yesterday, I learned another lesson. I always want to be growing and learning. Some days the lessons are most obvious than others, but we can always reflect and learn something about ourselves if we press pause!
I promised my sweet Anna I would come eat lunch with her. By lunch, I mean brunch because she eats at 10:30 a.m.! She wants me to every Friday. Having your mom or dad sit at the middle table with you is special. And, you even get to pick a friend to sit with you. Anna doesn’t care about me bringing her special food, having a conversation or really talking at all; she just wants to me there.
As I rushed around from the one day that I exercise, I smelled pretty ripe and only had 30 minutes to shower and dress. I got the shower and clothes in but my hair was still wet and my zits, at age 37, were shiny red! (my face still breaks out in my late 30’s!? wth!) I also work as the counselor at the school so every time I’m there, the kids and adults think I’m ‘on the job’ so there’s no laying low. I wanted to dry my frizzy, wet hair, and at least cover up my blemishes, but there wasn’t time. I was late once because of traffic and she was in tears. I had to be on time.
Then, it hit me. She doesn’t care. The other kids don’t care. I just need to show up. Stop worrying about what you look like, be on time, and just show up.
Sometimes, it’s just that simple. We, as adults, worry about the silliest things. We worry people will judge us, when we are our worst critics. We think others will think less of us, when we are thinking less of ourselves. We are afraid to just get out there, when all we really need to do is start.
We need to stop making excuses; it’s so much easier to make excuses than to get started. But, we can get a lot more out of life if we just show up. Sometimes, we are afraid. We are insecure. We are skeptical. These feelings can prevent us from getting the most out of life. The anticipation is much harder than the act itself. We need to stop giving ourselves excuses.
We, as parents, must how our children that we are brave, we aren’t perfect, and sometimes we must press on when we’d rather not. If we show up for our children, we give them love and security. I’ve worked with so many children who just want their parents to show up, mothers and fathers, but especially fathers. They aren’t wanting them to be perfect but they want to know them, to see them, and they just want them to show up. I’ve witnessed many children shed tears because they hoped their dad would call on their birthday or they’d see them at Christmas, and they didn’t. It’s a lifetime of let-downs when the adult doesn’t show up. It changes the way the child develops a sense of self-worth. If my own father or mother don’t show up, why do I need to show up? Why do I even need to try?
We, as adults, must show up for our own lives too. We will make mistakes. We will not always look or act our best. But, it’s better to try than to not even show up. Sometimes, it’s that simple. Sometimes just showing up, make-up or not, is enough.
Just show up!