‘Somebody call 911…”

We have officially declared this a state of emergency. No, not the state of Tennessee, The Hamilton household. Now, this is about to get real. I know my blogs usually consist of a thought-provoking lesson learned with some innocent, sweet children. Nope, not today. The real Hamiltons are about to be revealed. We have had one too many snow days and even this mama is calling mercy! It’s been fun and we’ve stayed busy but today we’ve hit a wall.

It started off  normal enough….Fortunately, I was able to hit a hot yoga class and get in my zen place starting my day off right this morning. Since my kids weren’t home when I got home, I returned a phone call to my sweet boss and counseling supervisor. Of course, in perfect timing, my family arrived home right in the middle of our conversation two-minutes in. She wanted to go ahead and knock out our post-conference for the semester evaluation so I told her I just needed to let my kids know I’d be on the phone for 5-10 minutes and I needed to be alone. Bo was in the shower getting ready for work, and I closed the office door. Then, my other line starting buzzing in during our conversation, my ‘home’ line trying to call me (them). While I ignore these annoying buzzes, and I then hear the home line ringing. Ignoring that too, I hear my son come upstairs to tell my husband that Anna called 911!

Meanwhile, I am calmly listening to my supervisor explain my good evaluation score and trying to decide whether I need to get off and handle this when my husband starts freaking out and yelling at both of them on the other side of the door. (Those of you who know Bo well may have heard his ‘daddy voice’ and it ain’t pretty!). Next, I hear him talking to someone on the phone, the 911 operator, explaining it was an accident. Luckily, Brody had run upstairs and told Bo she did it (the only good choice he made!) and Bo was able to speak to the call-back operator before I was even off the phone.  I couldn’t even speak to him before he had to rush out to work because I was trying to professionally wrap up my evaluation. My sweet supervisor finished by telling us to have a fun day and saying she was impressed because she didn’t even hear a peep out of the kids. HA!!!!

No, it gets better. So, Bo has left when I walk out calmly and begin interrogating them in their rooms. In typical, maddening fashion, there’s not one simple version to this story. I have to break them down, confirm details, ask if “that was a good choice?”, and then re-interview the other little delinquent before the semi-real story is revealed. I think, but still am not sure, that Brody (of course) didn’t tell her to do it and Anna really wanted to number. Basically, he told her to call the number or reminded her that it was 911 and not 411 or whatever.

So, I was in the middle of lecturing them to as why this is so serious and how real police cars, ambulances, and fire trucks could come when I hear my dogs howling at the driveway. On cue, a real police squad car pulls up.

Now, we have only been in this neighborhood for 8 months and I think the women on literally every side of me do not work outside the home and I’m just certain someone noticed a police car parked in my driveway. And, I hate getting in trouble so at this point, I’m no longer zen. I yelled at the dogs to go outside and the delinquents to come downstairs to meet the real cop(yeah, and  he probably heard me yelling when he was walking up to the door; yay, School Counselor and Mom-of-the-Year!).

When I opened the door, I invited the serious-looking officer in while explaining that I was just lecturing about how serious this is. He takes off his shades, and asks the kids if everything is ok. I then realize that it’s probably protocol to come out anyway because who knows what could have been happening when Bo told operator it was just accident. Is the husband a wife-beater, the mom a child abuser, or all they really just delinquent, unsupervised kids? Choice ‘c’ but I’m not so sure what the neighbors think!

Urgh! So, after the officer asked if they were in trouble, the kids’ pale faces nodded yes. He told them to make good choices , I made them apologize and he luckily left to go onto ‘real emergences’, as I was just explaining to them. I spent the next 30 minutes imagining I heard sirens but so far, we’re safe.

I debated whether or not to expose the ‘real’ us. I have a reputation to uphold, afterall. But, here’s the point. Today, folks, consider yourselves normal. Consider yourself exposed to the realness of our sweet, little character-award winning kids! Yes, we all have our moments. I just hope and pray these kids get back to school where they actually like to follow the rules and make good choices because we don’t want to have to get the cops back over here (any time soon!)!



2 thoughts on “‘Somebody call 911…”

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  1. Sarah, I literally laughed out loud at this! I could so imagine you and your sweet “boss” having the conference while all this craziness is going on! Priceless!! I’m glad it worked out, and I’m glad to know my kids aren’t the only ones who can’t stand for me to need some privacy on the phone!


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